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October 31, 2006

The Telepathic Tabernacle - Week 10

That was looking like a sure double skunk last week - the Telepathic Tabernacle was even setting out the good china and the themed tablecloth along with some cool skunk-shaped lights. Everybody did their jobs - Wazzu took care of UCLA, Arizona State erased Washington and Oregon demolished Portland State - then it was USC's turn. But the Trojans could not seem to muster the energy necessary to eradicate some pesky Beavers and Oregon State upset USC to not only take down the TeleTab's double skunk party but also took down the Gem of the Week with it - the third straight loss in that category. That can only mean one thing - the Tab must have Bobby Brady's tiki god statue buried under the porch. Still, the twin 3-1 marks in the SU and ATS divisions kept the Tab in good standing in both the SU and ATS categories. In the SU, the Tab is still sitting on an 82% success rate and crept to within two wicks of a witch's eyelash of 60% in the ATS. Not bad in either case, but not quite up to the Tab's high standards. The Gem dropped to an abysmal 4-4-1 mark and that just will not cut it - literally - unless it is a gem made of talc. The Tab will have to win 90% of the remaining Gems to feel good again in the mornings without the benefit of nog.


Week 10 means the rules of grammar have changed and the Tab can stop spelling out the numbers and just put down the digits but it also means trouble with a bunch of capital letters, including the "T". OSU could have one of the biggest letdowns in the history of college football or ASU could be getting better at the right time or neither. No matter how the Tab looks at it - it spells "Danger, Will Robinson!" So that puts that game dead center in the Games Not To Touch With The Proverbial 39.5-Foot Poles. If Mkristo Bruce were completely healthy, Wazzu would be the Gem of the Week, but a hobbled Bruce may mean the Wildcats keep it closer than it should be. USC should smush the Trees and they should cover the spread - but stop the Tab where you heard that one before when referring to the Trojans - and they have not covered in five weeks. So in the bin they go along with California, who did not play well coming off their last bye week, so they get no love here. That means Oregon gets our nod as the Gem of the Week with a mere 13-point deficit to Washington in Autzen. The Nikes have pulverized the Hussies in the last two meetings and have all the raindrops slanted in their direction this week, but the biggest raindrop is that Mike Bellotti has covered the double digit spread as the favorite both times in the last two meetings. The Tab needs to hang a Halloween hat on that kind of omen to stay above the equator in this scary week of college football. This week's chamber of crusty horrors….



STRAIGHT UP


Oregon over Washington

Oregon State over Arizona State

WSU over Arizona

USC over Stanford

California over UCLA




Last Week: 3-1

Overall: 45-10




AGAINST THE SPREAD


Oregon [-13] over UW

ASU [+3.5] over OSU

WSU [-16] over Arizona

USC [-28.5] over Stanford

Cal [-17] over UCLA



Last Week: 3-1

Overall: 32-22-1





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