My wake-up call last Sunday morning was a dog butt in my face.
More precisely, a Buddy the Wonder Bichon butt.
“Kiss my rear,” Buddy said.
“Why should I do that?” I inquired.
“Because I beat you in Week 1 of the SEC Picks,” he gloated before getting up on his hind legs to dance. “I was 11-1, you were 10-2.
“I am the winner. You’re not a Mad Dog. You’re a Sad Dog. Mr. Hotshot Sportswriter in your 41st season, all your experience and knowledge, you are a week one looooooooser.”
“Yep, you got me by a game,” I said.
“You really ought to try my leg lift method,” Buddy said. “It helps me not overthink things.”
“Sorry, I’m not too limber,” I replied. “I also don’t think my aim would be as good as yours.”
With that, we head into week 2. Against the spread in week 1, I was 5-7.
No. 6 LSU (1-0, 0-0 SEC) at No. 9 Texas (1-0), 6:30 p.m., Austin (ABC) Betting line: LSU by 6½
The betting line moved from LSU as a 4-point favorite to 6½. Why? Maybe it’s because oddsmakers discovered Texas is so injury-riddled at running back that its second-team running back is a freshman who had been the third-string quarterback. Maybe it’s because previously suspended LSU starters offensive left tackle Saahdiq Charles and middle linebacker Michael Divinity are back in the saddle again this week. Or maybe it’s that LSU returns 16 of 22 starters from last season’s 10-3 team while Texas lost 13 of 22 starters (including eight on defense) from last year’s 10-4 squad. As eager as LSU was to unveil its new offense in last week’s 55-3 season opening win over Georgia Southern, the Tigers’ D-line is itching to debut their attack style that they couldn’t play in week one vs. option-oriented Eagles. This game will be determined by offensive line play and which quarterback can make the most positive plays under duress.
My prediction: Tiger Bar and Grill 34, Longhorn Steakhouse 17 Buddy: LSU
Arkansas (1-0, 0-0 SEC) at Ole Miss (0-1, 0-0 SEC), 6:30 p.m., Oxford (SEC Network) Betting line: Ole Miss by 6½
Already, the Hogs and the Rebels are starved for offense. Last week in Arkansas’ exceptionally unimpressive season-opening 20-13 win over Portland State and in the 15-10 Ole Miss loss at Memphis, the Razorbacks and Rebs combined for just three TDs. Ole Miss scored a mere one TD against a Memphis defense with eight returning starters from a unit that allowed 31.9 points per game last season. The Rebels’ offense, which had the ball almost 17½ minutes less than Memphis, has to do something to help their experienced defense that kept last Saturday’s loss a one-possession game. Ole Miss will go as far as running back Scottie Phillips is allowed to take the Rebels.
My prediction: Matt Luke’s Skywalkers 23, Arkansas Oinkers 20 Buddy: Arkansas
No. 12 Texas A&M (1-0, 0-0 SEC) at No. 1 Clemson (1-0), 2:30 p.m., Clemson (ABC) Betting line: Clemson by 17
The line on this game is stunning. It’s either because Clemson has won 12 straight games by 20 or more points or the boys in the smoky Vegas backrooms think the Aggies play touch football defense. Clemson’s closest game in last year’s national championship season was a 28-26 loss at Texas A&M before Trevor Lawrence took over as the Tigers’ starting quarterback. A&M’s offense is better than last year, just on the basis of returning starting QB Kellen Mond already showing he’s vastly improved as a passer and playmaker. Clemson’s experienced offense proves to be the difference. The Tigers’ eight returning offensive starters include a 3,000-yard passer from last year (Lawrence), a 1,500-yard rusher (Louisiana native Travis Etienne) and 1,000-year receiver (Justin Ross). For the second straight year, A&M is highly competitive but. . .
My prediction: Yabo Dabo Do 37, College Station Drum and Bugle Corps 24 Buddy: Texas A&M
New Mexico State (0-1) at No. 2 Alabama (1-0, 0-0 SEC), 3 p.m., Tuscaloosa, SEC Network Betting line: Alabama by 55
Some of the most entertaining online reading is from disgruntled Alabama fans when their beloved Crimson Tide fail to vaporize teams in the first half with five and six TD leads. In last week’s opener against Duke, an ACC program with winning seasons five of the last six years, Alabama led just 14-3 at the half. Naturally, the spoiled Crimson Tide faithful flooded Twitter with pleas to fire offensive coordinator Steve Sarkisian. In the second half, Alabama scored on four of its first five possessions for a 42-3 victory. The fact the Tide didn’t blow up the scoreboard as quickly as they often did last season gave an early impression that Alabama appeared to be vulnerable, which led to this conversation I overheard at my health club between two LSU fans.
Fan 1: Did you watch any of the Alabama game? They look like they can be had.
Fan 2: Yeah, (Alabama quarterback) Tua (Tagovailoa) didn’t play too well.
Huh?
All Tagovailoa did was complete 26-of-31 passes for 336 yards and four TDs.
Tagovailoa probably won’t play that “well” this Saturday either against a New Mexico State defense that has nine returning starters from a unit that gave up 41.3 points per game in last year’s 3-9 season.
My prediction: Saban Nation 62, University of Witness Protection 3 Buddy: Alabama
Southern Miss (1-0) at Mississippi State (1-0, 0-0 SEC), 2:30 p.m., Starkville (ESPNU) Betting line: Mississippi State by 16½
I am not familiar with Mississippi politics. But all I know is Mississippi State doesn’t mind playing Southern Mississippi, the state’s other FBS (Division 1-A) team besides Ole Miss every now. The USM-MSU series is 14-14-1. Ole Miss, on the other hand, hasn’t played Southern Miss since 1984. The series conveniently ended after the Rebels lost five of the last seven games to the Golden Eagles. Kudos to the Bulldogs for scheduling this game. I’m surprised State is a two-possession favorite after struggling to put away Louisiana-Lafayette in the season opener. USM has some experienced and talented skill position players as well as a fairly salty defense. Mississippi State better come ready to play in its home opener.
My prediction: Starkvegas Bullpuppies 28, Hattiesburg Buzzards 24 Buddy: Southern Miss
West Virginia (1-0) at Missouri (0-1, 0-0 SEC), 11 a.m., Columbia (ESPN2) Betting line: Missouri by 14
West Virginia’s 20-14 season opening win over James Madison in new WVU coach Neal Brown’s first game was a bigger struggle than expected. Missouri’s 37-31 flop at feisty Wyoming, even though Mizzou had 331 more passing yards, was a stunner. Because the Tigers start a five-game home stand this weekend, many people thought Missouri had a good chance of getting to November unbeaten. Missouri can still get there with one loss, but the defense must get its act together.
My prediction: Mizzou Crew 35, Country Roads Take Me Home 24 Buddy: Missouri
Vanderbilt (0-1, 0-0 SEC) at Purdue (0-1), 11 a.m., West Lafayette, (Big Ten Network) Betting line: Purdue by 7
There could be turnovers galore in this game. Why? Because both teams wear black and gold as their colors. This game is worth a few minutes of viewing time just to watch Purdue sophomore wide receiver Rondale Moore. He’s hell on wheels.
My prediction: Past Due 31, Music City Twangers 13 Buddy: Purdue
BYU (0-1) at Tennessee (0-1, 0-0 SEC), 6 p.m., Knoxville (ESPN) Betting line: Tennessee by 3½
The way the Vols got steamrolled by mighty Georgia State last Saturday (GSU outrushed Tennessee 213-93), they probably would have liked to play BYU the very next day. But BYU doesn’t schedule any activities on Sundays because the school is owned and operated by Mormons. Tennessee coach Jeremy Pruitt’s week consisted of several players entering the NCAA transfer and questions why Pruitt doesn’t look angry enough when the Vols are playing poorly. Pruitt came to Tennessee with the reputation as a hothead. Now in his second season at UT going 5-7 last season and 2-6 in the SEC, maybe it’s just too exhausting for him to stay angry.
My prediction: The rapper formerly known as Big Orange 31, Mormons on a Mission 7 Buddy: Tennessee
Tulane (1-0) at No. 10 Auburn (1-0, 0-0 SEC), 6:30 p.m., Auburn (ESPN2) Betting line: Auburn by 17½
I would love to see Tulane make this game competitive, just for sake of Green Wave starting QB Justin McMillian, who transferred last season from LSU, started the last six games to rally the Wave to a 7-6 record and a bowl win and who had 251 yards total offense and three TDS in last Saturday’s 42-14 season opening win over Florida International. But Auburn has way too much talent and it wants to put on a show in its home opener.
My prediction: Waffle House Gussie All-Stars 45, Harvard of the South 14 Buddy: Auburn
The rest of the games:
Murray State (1-0) at No. 3 Georgia (1-0, 0-0 SEC), 3 p.m., Athens (ESPN2) Betting line: No line
My prediction: Doggie Damage 55, No Hurry Murray 6 Buddy: Georgia
UT Martin (1-0) at No. 11 Florida (1-0, 0-0 SEC), 6:30 p.m., Gainesville (ESPNU) Betting line: No line
My prediction: Swamp Things 52, Fighting Hyphens 0 Buddy: Florida
Eastern Michigan (1-0) at Kentucky (1-0, 0-0 SEC), 6:30 p.m., Lexington (SEC Network Alternate Channel) Betting line: Kentucky by 15
My prediction: Cat People 31, Directional School 24 Buddy: Eastern Michigan
Charleston Southern (0-1) at South Carolina (0-1, 0-0 SEC) 11 a.m., Columbia (SEC Network) Betting line: No line
My prediction: Will Muschamp and the Soul Searchers 38, Charleston Southern Railroad 7 Buddy: South Carolina
